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  • Writer's pictureKara Hill

Lonely Places

If someone could ask you what the worst feeling in the world is, what would you say? You might say grief, fear, hate, or anger. While those are all terrible feelings, I think my answer to this question would be the feeling of loneliness. God designed us to desire relationships of all kinds. Genesis 2:18 states, "The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." While Jesus is talking about a marital relationship here, this can apply to all kinds of relationships. If you are a Christian and have a relationship with Christ, then you are never alone. However, as I stated above, the Lord created us to have relationships with each other and be in community with other Christians.

This gets hard, however, when you don't have that great community of Christians around you or a group of close-knit friends or family. If you find yourself in this category, let me encourage you with this verse. Psalm 68:5 states, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." He is such a good father that will never leave you, nor forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6). He is a father to the fatherless, and He loves his children more than we could ever imagine. Now that we know that God will never leave us, so we are truly never alone, where do we go to find community?

If you are struggling to find that group of Christian friends that are actively pursuing God, I would say to first find a church to regularly attend. This is the best way to get plugged into a community of God-fearing people. The next thing I would recommend is to get involved in a young adult group, or a group that fits your age. It is also important to find a place or specific ministry area to serve in. These are all great ways to find community. Finding a group of people that will stick closer than a brother, however, takes time. Relationships take work and it will take time to build up a strong connection and bond.

Maybe you are saying, I have already tried all of these avenues and I still do not have that community that I long for. Firstly, I would say to pray about this issue. I would pray to give this issue of loneliness to God and ask Him to help you seek and find those special connections. Secondly, I would say that in this waiting season of forming strong connections, work on your relationship with the Lord. If your relationship with the Lord is not the most important relationship and priority in your life, then you will not find satisfaction in any earthly relationship you form. Finally, I would do some self reflection and ask yourself if you are someone you would like to be friends with. Is your character and the posture of your heart what attracts people to you? If it is not, I would ask for the Lord's help and guidance in this area.

I write all this simply to say that even in our lonely places where we do not feel loved, appreciated, or seen, Jesus is there. He is in every moment of our lives and we are truly never alone. I encourage you to lean into your relationship with the Lord. James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." So, Christian, when the feeling of loneliness seems to creep in, draw near to the one who never leaves you.

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